January's featured poet and poem is Michelle Macaraeg Bautista and her poem "Dreaming." Michelle was born and raised in Oakland, CA. By day, she fixes computers at U.C. Berkeley; by night she becomes Gura Michelle teaching Kali (a Filipino martial arts form) at Pusod in Berkeley. She has performed and done readings with Kearney Street Workshop, Teatro ng Tanan, and Kulintang Arts. Her writings have been published in Babaylan, Asian Pacific American Journal, and Eros Pinoy.

Her poem "Dreaming" was first published in Unfaithing U.S. Colonialism (Eds. Deborah Lee & Anthony Salas, Dharma Cloud Publishers, 1998).

DREAMING

Dreaming,
eyes closed,
of women, of princesses,
of an old frail man I met once as a child,
of weapons and bolos,
and of shapes, circles within circles, triangles,
of jungles, of Gundar in Samar,
where the blind Princess Josephine is from,
but no one remembers her...

but I remember.
I remember
eyes closed yet open
the third eye opening to God,
Bathala.
Images of people and places
somehow connected, meeting
at a place within me,
the crossroads.

the rhythm, do you feel it?
No.

Unaware, deaf to the sounds,
wait!
On the verge of it, sensing
it... no, that's not it.
Help me, woman warrior,
Mandirigmang babae, tulungan po ako.

the rhythm, do you feel it?
No, not yet, wait!

Eyes, ears, hands straining
trying to find what I do not understand.
What is it that calls to you?
What is it that you hear, frail man?
What is it that you want from me?
with time, give it time

Touch her touch him
circles within circles
dancing in rhythm
in time walking through jungles
the ultimate test, dark
shadows, places where the moonlight
enters, knowing
of the enemy knowing
the enemy will come knowing
the demon will come knowing
the demon will appear
do not run away, you must face it.

Why did you run?
Natakot ako. I was afraid.
If you have fear, you have no faith.
The demon will follow you now.
Yes, I know. Face the demon.
Yes, Guro. Face the demon.

Halad,
protection, asking Bathala
forgiveness for the blood of my enemy
for the life Bathala created
and the one I may take away.
Protection from the evil that
may enter the door to mine third eye
thank you Bathala salamat po.
Orasyon, the prayer.

the rhythm, do you feel it?

The hands move quickly, then slow.
The feet move quickly, then slow.
The mind moves quickly, then slow.
shuffle, shuffle, shuffle
strike strike strike
shuffle, shuffle, shuffle
strike strike strike
shuffle, shuffle, shuffle
strike strike killing blow

I kill for others,
I defend their lives not mine.
Falling into the trance
hiding the rage
kumukulo ang dugo
the outer world a blur
a whirlwind
turning spinning
only two, only you
do you feel the rhythm?
no life no death
only hands feet and head
touch him, put your hand
on his shoulder
feel the warmth of the blood coursing
through his body as it does within you
the warmth of the blood spilling
the warmth of the blood flowing onto me
bloody, dugu-duguan.

Bathala forgive me for the blood
of the life that you created the one
that was sacrificed for mine
and the lives that I defend.
It is for them, not for me, that I
thank you Bathala salamat po.

do you feel the rhythm?
of steps of heartbeats of life
do you feel the rhythm?
do you feel the drum that beats
within you
Listen
do you feel the rhythm?
your rhythm matching the drum
you and the rhythm becoming one
you becoming the rhythm
do you feel the rhythm?
the beating of your heart
moving one with the rhythm
moving the rhythm
do you feel the rhythm?
Yes, now, I feel the rhythm.

Tell me the story again. Yes,
I've heard it before but not
from you, not from your words.
Tell me the story again the story of
your dreams of how you walk the jungle
searching for a teacher
and finding in her
Mandirigmang babae
blind princess I have never seen
who stands by the river
unmatched by any man.

Tell me the story of how you asked her
to walk her circle
woman warrior mandrigmang babae
you are my blood I walk the circle for you
for you so strong and beautiful unmatched by any man
for you for whom they always see darkness
for you for whom I always see
for you who flows like the river
for you who flows within me now.
Mandirigmang babae, magkadugo na tayo.
Women warrior, we are of one blood now.

Tell me the story of your dreams
frail man whose spirit has found new life in my own
the stories of my mother the stories of me
touch him, feel the warmth of
the blood that courses within him
as it courses within your own
frail man you come to me in my mother's stories
master of arnis master
of an art walker upon
fire you are my blood I am
part of your circle frail man
I met once as a child
I complete the circle for you.

Closed eyes dreaming
dreaming of places and people I've never seen
yet so much a part of me now.
dreaming of jungles of jungles of princesses
dreaming of shapes circles within circles of triangles
dreaming of weapons and bolos
dreaming of the blind princess by the river unmatched by any man
dreaming of the old frail man I met once as a child
dreaming of me walking the circle touching the warmth
of the blood that runs within me as it runs within them.

I close my eyes and dream.

******

Kali will be bringing Michelle soon to "a land far far away in a time long long ago." You may see a tiny pixelated version of her giving Princess Leia a run for her money in an upcoming summer movie. Meritage Press recently asked Michelle to share some of her thoughts correlating poetry to kali. Michelle replied:

"Kali is a form of Filipino martial arts that utilizes long rattan sticks and other weaponry. However, the traditional weapon for my particular style is the kampilan, a long heavy broadsword whose handle looks like a snake's flicked forked tongue. Most people are familiar with the other generic terms for Filipino martial arts: escrima and arnis. I study with the Kamatuuran School of Kali (kamatuuran, a Visayan word for truth). This particular school and style is more female based with one of its main teachers being a blind woman from Samar by the name of Josephine.

Why I do Kali: I do kali for the same reason I write, it keeps me sane. I began doing Kali about 8 years ago. I had taken a few Judo classes, but decided it wasn't for me. Since I had been actively engaging my Filipino identity (which you can read all about in Leny Strobel's book Coming Full Circle), I decided to look for a Philippine Martial Art. I had gone to practices of a few schools, but I wasn't really drawn to any of them. I happened to watch my teacher demonstrate at a Sikiolohiyang Pilipino conference at a local college. He told the story of one of their main teachers, a blind woman from Samar, named Josephine. I thought, hey, that's different, a female teacher. I watched them very carefully. They were different. I took a mental note. I introduced myself and my teacher and I exchanged information.

It still took some time and a few phone calls to finally get me to class, but once in class, I was hooked. It felt right. You can't beat that, that feeling that permeates your being. Kali reminds me of the fine lines that we walk between extremes. As a martial artist, I destroy yet create beauty in its form. As a writer, I create beauty, yet destroy perceptions of thinking. They go hand in hand. Though this is the only creative piece that I have written that explicitly deals with Kali, it is always in the back of my mind each time I pick up a stick or a pen."

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FROM THE TIBETAN HALLWAY OF TRANSITION

Second Avenue Press was founded in the spring of 2001 to publish innovative North/Asian/American poetries by poet Paolo Javier. The press was recently launched with a letterpress edition of a broadside featuring "From The Tibetan Hallway of Transition," a collaboration between Eileen Tabios and alchemical artist Max Gimblett. Those interested in obtaining a copy of the broadside should send a check for $8 (per broadside), made out to Paolo Javier, to Paolo Javier, c/o APA Studies, New York University, 269 Mercer St., Room 609, NY NY 10003

The 8 X 10" broadside may be framed and provides, among other things, a perfectly-pitched Valentine's Day gift, as evidenced by this excerpt from Eileen's poem:

The scent of rain -- I am parched
Almonds. My "eyes never close"
I am swooning into your childhood

Where the Milky Way floats like a silk scarf
Where you formed your gods and beat the gong
To call for golden fireflies to glitter and mate
To make me part my lips and know you await...

Those also wishing to join the Press' mailing list should contact Paolo at secondavenuepress@yahoo.com.

In reflecting on Paolo's formation of a new poetry press, Eileen says she thought of how poetry is like rock-climbing: "Sometimes, in rock climbing, you are climbing the face of a cliff that is vertical at 90 degrees, or even slanted towards your body. And you are looking for that infinitesimal crack upon which you are supposed to stick the balls of your feet -- after making a leap through space. And you are most likely to fall if your leap into that space is half-hearted. You must leap into the void with utmost commitment. In other words, successful rock climbing is like Poetry in that it is an act of Faith."

Thus, Eileen concludes, "I think of the faith that a young poet like Paolo Javier must possess in order to create a poetry press for innovative poetries, given the niche position of poetry within culture. I thank him for inaugurating his poetry press with one of my poems."

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OUROWNVOICE.COM'S FILIPINO/A POETRY ISSUE

The current issue of OurOwnVoice, a literary and arts e-zine dedicated to featuring Filipinos/as in the Diaspora, is dedicated to Filipino/a poetry. Founding editor and publisher Reme Grefalda writes, "About 25 poets are featured, some emerging some fairly well known. A 9-year old's poem was submitted by her grandfather. The grandchild of a poet/playwright who wrote at the turn of the century found some of his works and she submitted his poem (Hiligaynon). Tagalog poems, prose poems, the whole gamut is there."

Also featured is a short story by poet Fatima Lim Wilson as well as a daring essay by Eileen Tabios correlating the works of renowed Filipino artist Manuel Ocampo to the poetics of "abstract poetry." Helping Reme put OurOwnVoice together are Nadine Sarreal, Geejay Arriola, Seb Koh and Cisa Payuyo. To see their latest issue, go to: http://www.pinoyfirst.com/~ourownvoice